How would you define expectations as? In simple words, it is the belief that something will happen. A hope for the future. But how far are these expectations fulfilled? How far do people really live up to the expectations set by others? And most importantly, why is it only certain people impose expectations on others, just because the society demands it?
Yes. I am in that fiery mood against such societal pressure where some people are bombarded with expectations and responsibilities. Very often I have heard people say to the most duteous girl, who’s about to get married, that it is her responsibility to keep the entire house bonded together, it is her duty to look after her in laws, their well being, their health, to look after her husband, fulfill his wants and needs and blah blah blah. In short, she’s forced upon to be the typical sanskari bahu that we’ve seen projected in the saas bahu soaps till now. Remember Prerna of Kasauti Zindagi Ki or Tulsi of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi? Yes, it’s them who’ve made expectations on the girls sound more overrated than anyone else in the world. All thanks to Ekta Kapoor. You know actually even Ekta Kapoor shouldn’t be blamed for this. After all, people get inspiration from their surroundings and what they come across. Such unrealistic soaps must have been the consequences of how people desire a complete package to be. It’s no shame in calling a girl ‘complete package’ when all people look for is how well she can run the daily errands till the time Thanos snaps his fingers for real. (I had to bring in the Avengers Reference, you know why).
At times this burden starts taking a toll on their health and ultimately they are left with no choice but look after themselves, but only after serving other’s need. I’ve seen people who would work their asses off like it’s the end of the world. And when it comes to their ill health, everyone simply turns a deaf ear. No one even bothers to serve the person some basic amenities at this point of time, when it is needed the most. I am really at a fix as to who is more stupid in this case. The one who selflessly renders service, like it’s her duty to do so or the one who turns into a mute spectator when it comes to helping the one who have been serving them? But we clearly know the fact that such type of behaviour will one day cease to exist. Why? Because people like us will speak up. We aren’t the group of timid person trapped in a circle of responsibilities, with no one to look after us. Rather, we are that group of people who is ready to break free, from such shackles, if the need arises.
There’s one thing which I have noticed is quite common in many households. The fact that the daughter in law has to go to her maiden home to ‘take some rest’. Explain this logic to me, people! Why on earth can’t a daughter in law rest in her in laws house as the way she might have done at her own home? Why do people create such difference? You’ve got a daughter in law, for your information, not a full time maid, as most people assume it to be. It is your damn responsibility to look after her as much as you expect her to look after every nook and corner of your house. It is in fact, more than that. You’ve taken someone else’s daughter to be with your son and it is solely your responsibility to adhere to her needs. She might not have been treated as a princess at her home, but you don’t have any bullshit right to treat her as your maid. She might not cook three curries for you everyday but you have to look after her when the time arises. And God forbid anything happens to her, it’s you puny people that are to be blamed.
And I still don’t get the fact why people refer to the daughter in law’s home as her ‘mother’s home’ once she is married. Doesn’t she have any right over it just because she wears adorns her forehead with Vermillion now? If that is the mentality we are having, then I am sorry to say, we as girls don’t even have a proper home to call it our own. I refuse to call my home my ‘mother’s house’ even after marriage. It is up to us how we look into it. And I am definitely not the one to fall under such societal pressure to call the place that has given me the best 27 years of my life, the place which I call ‘Home’ to be termed just as my ‘mother’s house’. Period.
A daughter grows up with utmost care at her home, with her parents. Any need of her never goes unfulfilled by her parents. And the same applies to her new house when she is married. It is the other family’s duty to see that she is comfortable, it is their duty to make her feel at home. It is their duty to provide her with the good things in life and bring happiness into a new beginning. But it breaks my heart as I constantly witness exactly the opposite of this happening around us.
What we ask for is equal amount of respect, love and our full right to be happy as the way we like, not by adjusting to every single instance and compromise at the cost of our happiness and health.
What we ask for is to make us feel at home, instead of making it a house made of bricks and cement.
What we ask for is a day when we can let our hair down and be ourselves, just like the way we were at home…
Is it too much to ask for?